Some of you may have followed my blog for a while now and some of you may be new here, but I still want to tell you something about why I’m blogging here.

Sometimes I have thoughts I’d rather share with strangers than with people I know. Some people don’t get me and some people do. I love to discuss and connect with people from all over the world about different opinions and experiences. Most of the time I’m writing about babies and parenthood and relationships and I’m always open for suggestions. I would love to think and write about subjects that other people give me (always straight A’s in essays). I’d love to share my opinion about different things I might not think about very often. I want a more interactive blog with dialogues and not only monologues. Please tell me what you think about my blog, what you’d like to read and what you’d like to be improved.



At what point of the relationship stops a man to look at you?

Hey everybody,

I was wondering at what point of the relationship a man stops to look at his woman. When it seems like I’m pulling the Carrie- Bradshaw right now, it isn’t really my intention.

All you want is a compliment, you’re literally fishing for it and the reaction you get is “What’s different?”. I want to scream “I LOST 20 LBS OVERNIGHT YOU JERK!”, but say “Nothing” instead. You have to know that I had a baby 8,5 months ago and those extra 30 lbs still stick with me. My boyfriend thinks I’m too fat and so do I. So I bought underwear that make me look 30 lbs thinner. I swear it works!!! AND HE DOESN’T SEE IT?! What’s the point? He thinks I’m too fat, but he doesn’t see it when I magically lost 30 lbs?! What can I do right?!

I mean it’s not that you don’t see a difference, is it?

Our relationship is very different from what it was before we moved in together. 9 of 10 times we go to bed at different times. Sex happens like once a month or less, instead of every day. It’s so frustrating. That’s also why I keep asking myself if I’m still what he wants me to be.

Any suggestions what I could try or do?


The delivery

Well, I wanted to write earlier about this and to be honest, I don’t remember much. That’s why this post is rather shorter than the post I had in mind when I decided to write about it, 8 months ago. The delivery. It’s more than eight months ago now and I forgot about the pain and everything that came with it.

I was in pain for about 22 hours. I cried, I screamed, I thought I’m going insane. But then after all these hours I was holding my little baby girl and the pain was gone. Everything was peaceful, silent, love was in the air. ❤

I gave birth naturally and the labor pain was terrible. But it’s not like I’d say I wouldn’t do it again. Having a baby is a miracle. It’s overwhelming, it’s beautiful, amazing, amazingly exhausting (let’s be honest). But I’ll do it again, I’m sure!

I recovered really quickly and everything is like it was before, except my weight. Since the delivery, I gained 30 lbs and I have no idea why! I work out, I’m busy, I’m eating healthy and so on. I have to get my thyroid checked.

I will fight these 30 lbs. I want to get back in shape again. I’m also very happy about tips on this matter.


The greatest love of all

Hey! Long time no see as you may have noticed! And as you may have noticed, our little baby girl has arrived a couple of weeks ago. She will be 6 weeks tomorrow! Time flies, it really does!

Actually my due date was 04/18/15, but I already had contractions when I was 35 weeks pregnant and was hospitalized for a week. From week 36, my doc told me that she could arrive every second.

The plan was that my boyfriend would come back from Cape Town on 04/10/15 until 04/26/15, so he would arrive at my place on 04/11/15 in the afternoon. I begged him to change his flight, so he came back on 03/28/15 and had to fly back on 04/10/15, so he had to leave on 04/09/15 in the afternoon.

We were waiting patiently for the little one but soon found out that she probably won’t make it until 04/10/15. So I begged him again to stay another week. And luckily he did.

Funny, the real contractions started at 3 AM on 04/10/15. And the little one was born on 2.18 AM on 04/11/15. One way or another, if he wouldn’t have changed his flight back or sticked to the original plan, he wouldn’t have had the possibility to experience the delivery but luckily he did. And he’s such a proud dad, even when he sees his daughter again for the first time at the end of july.

In my upcoming post, I’ll give you the complete insights of THE HAPPENING and how we tried to force it. 😉


Baby everywhere… :)

Hey guys,

my boyfriend and I visited his parents last week, actually because of a sad reason: taking my boyfriend to the airport and saying goodbye for 6 months, because he had to fly to Cape Town for a job.

Well, when we were sitting together at night, with his parents, his sister and her boyfriend (who prepared a delicious meal), I was holding my belly and for the first time something felt different. Usually when I held my belly I didn’t feel anything until the little girl decided to kick, but this time, I felt her when she wasn’t. She is so big now, I can feel her body parts through my belly, which is kinda amazing. I mean ‘WOW’, there really is a human inside my belly. I can feel her bones, I can feel her head, her hands, her feet, her booty, her back, her knees. I’m dreaming about her very often and I wonder what she’ll look like. I still have ‘officially’ 60 days to go (I don’t think it’ll be that long though) and I’m getting more excited to meet her every day. I just can’t wait any longer. I’d love to hold her in my arms NOW, to hug her, to kiss her, to smell her. I just can’t describe this feeling. When I think of her, it’s just love that I feel. I’m taking to her very often, calling her name (YAY, we finally have a name!) and she responds very often, which is also amazing. Since her daddy is gone, I’m telling her about him very often. How handsome, how smart and how amazing he is and that I just choose the best daddy for her I could imagine.

Still, it’s all so surreal. I’m having contractions a couple of times every day and I can’t wait to see the doctor next week for the CTG.

I’ll try to go back to sleep for now. My cats are cuddly (what I find very annoying the last couple of days) and I’m very tired.


Scary things happen… :P

Well, this isn’t supposed to sound as it probably does. You might know, pregnancy comes with a lot of disadvantages too. The one I’m talking about today is “NEEDLES”!!! Yeah, during your pregnancy you’ll encounter them- a scary lot of times. I thinks I’ve been to the doctor like 10 times already during my pregnancy, monthly appointments for ultrasounds and when I thought something was wrong. Every single time they either took blood samples or gave me injections, I happen to be 0 negative. Blood type 0 and rhesus factor -, which really sucks. Two days ago, I got my Anti-D- injection, which happens around week 29 when your rhesus factor is negative. A couple of minutes after the injection I fainted.

Yesterday, I had to do a glucose tolerance test. This means: you’re not allowed to eat or drink within the 12 hours before the test. Usually they take a blood sample on an empty stomach. After that, you’ll get a disgusting drink which wants to make you puke- pure sugar. After one hour they take another blood sample and after two hours the third one. Okay. This is what happened to me: I went there, they tried to get a blood sample but it didn’t work. After they put in the needle for the third time, my body allowed them to get a little bit of my blood. Then I had to drink the sugar stuff and had to wait for an hour, but after about 30 minutes, I fainted. They put me into a recovery room where I could lie down and fell asleep. After 30 minutes they woke me up for the fourth prick. After that I fell asleep again for an hour until they woke me for the last blood sample. They put a needle into my arm for the fifth time that day- and I thought I’m finished. I just wanted to leave but then they told me they forgot to do an Anti-D screening and they need a blood sample. The only thing I thought was: “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!” I put up my sleeves, my veins in my crook were red/blue/swollen, I looked like a junkie. The girl who was supposed to take the blood test started panicking and said: “No, I can’t do that, I’m just a trainee, when I put a needle in there, your veins are going to explode. You’re getting some really bruises there already, I’m going to call someone.” The sixth time wasn’t worse than the 5 before, but I’m really done with needles for now… Until… Wednesday… My next appointment… Haha…


Gender question solved!!!

Oh my god! I’m so glad to announce the BIG news! Because of the colours, it might not be a big surprise for you, BUT it’s a girl!!! A little baby girl!!! I’m 29 weeks now and yesterday we got the news. I couldn’t be happier! To be honest, I would say the same if it would be a boy, because I really don’t care about the gender, but hey, it’s official now, we can start to think of names (what I actually do since week 6!) and can stop to buy gender neutral baby clothes! It feels like we’ve passed a big milestone. I was expecting the little one to be a girl, but hey, we saw it! Some readers might think I’m a maniac or a fanatic, but I just can’t express how happy I am.

Monday I have to get my anti-D injection and then starts the really thrilling phase, I think. My boyfriend leaves for South Africa for 6 months and I’m all on my own, but I think I’ll manage. 🙂 I just can’t wait to hold my little, beautiful baby girl.

I can’t sleep through anymore, somehow I have the feeling that my body is preparing for after the delivery. I bought a huge pregnancy pillow, which makes the nights more comfortable though.